A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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