I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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