I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
