My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
