Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
