I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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