it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
