Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
