people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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