I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
