Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
The adults are the big ones right?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
