Pappa wants mamma naked
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
