wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
