we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
