I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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