please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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