it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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