So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize