Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
