For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
