There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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