Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
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