the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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