Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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