I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
