I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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