Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
