he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
