So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
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i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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