Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
