Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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