Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
