my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
