lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
