ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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