Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
