some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
he thought i was a dude.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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