Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize