can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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