im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Also, beer. Big fan.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
