I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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