Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
