My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
