I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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