A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Of course I have a pirate flag
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
