thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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