Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Randomize
