check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Apparently you make a good broom.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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