420 ftw
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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