I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
