There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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