Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
