wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
