there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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