he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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