New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i believe in u and ur pee
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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